"A woman cannot win by mothering a man because a man doesn’t want to sleep with his mother. A woman who emotionally does too much for a man will always end up losing him. “But if I don’t do it for him—if I don’t call him when he stops calling, if I don’t make him discuss his feelings and show him what he’s doing, if I don’t explain to him what he’s doing wrong in the relationship when he obviously doesn’t have a clue—then the relationship will end! It won’t continue!” some women then say. And that, perhaps sadly, is precisely the point. If a man isn’t coming toward you, it might be time to grieve, but it isn’t time to reach for his lapels. He’s not coming toward you for one reason, and that is this: he doesn’t want to. If you seduce, manipulate, strategize, or otherwise try to make something happen that he would not have initiated on his own, then one of two things will happen: One, you’ll fail, which will ultimately make you feel humiliated, rejected and embarrassed. Or two, you’ll succeed, but it is bound to be a pyrrhic victory. Someday he will figure out what you’ve done, and it will destroy fundamental trust between you. When he realizes this, he will put his heart back in his pocket, and it is unlikely that is will ever be entrusted to your hands again."